worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
