Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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