my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize