Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
