Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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