Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
