who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
