Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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