So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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