did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
