well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
