Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
