dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
