My room smells like vodka and shame
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
