is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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