My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
