I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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