the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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