I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
