i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
