the condom got lost in my hair
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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