found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
