i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize