We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
