so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
