So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
