My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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