Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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