yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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