so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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