We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
im on a boat
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