ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
