Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
