sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
