You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
