Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize