I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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