Well douche your snatch and let's go!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
