The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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