The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
