no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
