Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
