i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i've created a new STD.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize