I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
