Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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