You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
