it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just want nice things and good sex
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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