Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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