she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
