The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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