Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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