im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
