why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
