new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
