it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
