We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't shave. On purpose
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
