Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
