You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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