We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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