first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've blown a few things in my day
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know