so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.