dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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