theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
