Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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