singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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