He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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