I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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