I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
