Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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